Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
