No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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