New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
