She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
