Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
