He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
