ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
