So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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