do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
