we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize