I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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