I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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