that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
