She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
