i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No subtext here. People are naked.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize