that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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