how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
