i barfeds in our rink
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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