4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
