It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
im on a boat
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