He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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