If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
