That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
