I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Buhtt sex?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
