Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
