I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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