did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
