hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
