Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
