he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We had sex on a dog bed..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
