Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
