dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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