Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
