Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
