the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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