Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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