Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
