I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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