Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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