Pappa wants mamma naked
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
