i think my tv is drunk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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