Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
