Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
