So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Success! We fucked roommates!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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