I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize