): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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