Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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