you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
