I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
