yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
