I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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