Got a toothbrush?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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