ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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