I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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