I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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