Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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